A: I was like super ninja girl. All like hiii-yah! Pow! yah! Kinda like that.

The cousins playing house:

J: hey mom, come look at this slide...

A: I'm not your mom, I'm your wife!

J: oh, ok. Wife, come look at this slide...

The girls are putting on puppet shows. A just finished one up:

"...and the robot saved the day. The end. If you'd like to see more puppet shows, please visit dot com online."

We pull in to a Trader Joe's in a shopping center and W is slowly reciting some letters as we are getting the girls out of the car. I'm not really paying attention, when she exclaims, "Mama! I just spelled Trader Joe's!" I say, "oh, good job." Daddy says, "no, W, you just spelled 'futon', actually."

W, bringing a Cars coloring page with some obscure character on it: What's this car's name?

Me: I don't know.

W What's this car's name?

Me: I don't know.

W: What's this car's name?

Me: Billy Bob.

W: Billy Bob? You don't know this car's name, do you?

Not quite an A&W story, but funny nonetheless:

So I was sleep interrogated last night.

S, shaking me awake: How are you going to lift the weights if you can't sjkdjfid jkosjfds hjjdso?

Me, woken out of a sound sleep: What?!

S, more urgently: How are you going to lift the weights if you can't sjkdjfid jkosjfds hjjdso?!

Me: what the hell?

S, pissed off, enunciating slowly, even the nonsense words: How. are. you. going. to. lift. the. weights. if. you. can't. sjkdjfid. jkosjfds. hjjdso?!

Me, crying: Why did you wake me up to ask a crossfitty question I can't even understand?!

S, in a snippy tone: Oh, I didn't realize you were sleeping.

Me, finally looking at the clock and realizing it's the middle of the night and he's sleep talking: Ok, I'm going back to sleep now.

S, letting out a big annoyed sigh and then rolling over in huff: Fine! Go back to sleep!

W: A, the rocketship is taking off, hurry!

A: alright! And then we can start the scientific research!

W: yeah!

W, at 38 miles in to our 1000 mile trip: Are we almost there?

W: when you are hungry, you eat. When you are not hungry, you sleep.

Yup, that's pretty much her life in a nutshell.

A is on a roll tonight! "Mama, you are being the kind of mama I want to be when I am a mama."

A: Mama, I love it when you laugh, your laugh is so joyful to me.

The girls are looking at some pics, one of which is of Daddy making a ridiculous face. A starts laughing and says, "there's the most humiliating picture of Daddy on here!"

W: When I'm a mama someday, if somebody spits I will tell them they don't get anymore gum.

A: Mama, I love you infinitive. That's like the biggest number.

(Let me preface this story by saying that we have a very large walk in shower, and the girls and I take showers together most times)

We are in the shower when A suddenly exclaims "W just PEED on me! For real, not pretend."

I look at W in shock, who laughs maniacally.

I tell her to apologize and she does, and help A scrub down very well.

A little while later, W asks A something, to which A replies, "I don't know. I'm still a little mad at you about the peeing."

So I tell her that yes, it was gross, and yes, I understand being angry, but that Yeshua wants us to forgive each other and she did apologize. I then tell her the story about forgiving 7 x 70.

A in consternation says, "I really don't think I can count that high."

A out of the blue says, "W, say something I don't understand." Immediately W replies, "My foot is over there!" Good job, W. Good job.

A is playing with some monkeys. She just said, "Stink monkeys are going to stink it up." Then glanced up at me and said excitedly, "there's another great t-shirt for you!"

W burped in the car today and then laughed maniacally. Astarted laughing really hard too and said, "You just have two disgusting sweet little girls, Mama!"

Yup, that pretty much sums it up.

I tell the girls they need to pick up the living room.

W says, "All of it?"

A replies before I can, "Well, at least enough to make it not 'holy crap' bad."

W: I think I ate too much. My tummy has a headache.

I'm working on new t-shirt designs. A says, "I have so many great ideas! Like one that says 'poopy underpants!'"

I am reading a book about manners to W.

The book asks: what should you say when you win a game?

W immediately responds: You're a loser!

Me: Um. No. And that's why we're reading a book about manners.

W had a bit of a discipline issue today. After the dust settled, she very sweetly said to me, "I'm sorry mama. You're the boss...oh, and I farted."

W just came into me crying "I hurt myself! I dropped somefing on my big toe! It hurts real bad! I need some dessert!"

W's prayer tonight: Thank you for my sister because she takes good care of me. Thank you for my Mama because she takes care of me and bes love to me and says prayers for me. Amen.

This is A's picture of a star. "This is a star, like our sun, with those things coming out of it? You know, solar flares."

At the end of the luau, the Chief said he would give any kid who ate the eyeball of the fish $10. A hopped right up and commented, "yum! tasty eyeball!" He took her over to the fish, unwrapped it and got the eye out and set it in front of her.

She reached right over and ate it. He paused in shock and commented said, "did she really just eat that? No kid has ever done that before! Who's kid is this?"

Guess he's never had a TrackersNW kid at his luau...

I don't know why we paid for tickets, they could have just been carry-ons...

W: Mama! Look at that poor tree! It doesn't have any leaves!

Me: babe, that's a telephone pole...

Color, cut and extensions

A informed us last night (complete with wide eyes and expressive gestures) that she wants to open a CrossFit Kids when she grows up and teach all of the kids what she knows about CrossFit. So apparently, she wants to be Carol when she grows up... :)

A does a handstand, just turned 5.

W and I were discussing princesses. She commented "Belle has a bad beast and she likes it."

Me: W, are you tired? You look like maybe you need a nap.

W: No, I just look funny.

Daddy is explaining to A about Columbus thinking he had made it to India.

She says "why didn't he just take a plane and fly there?"

W was showing off, bonked her head on the wall and laughed. Daddy told her not to do that on purpose because she could hurt herself. A added seriously, "Yeah, you could break your brain!"

W is showing me shapes with her hands: (makes diamond) This is a diamond. (makes circle) This is a circle. (makes oval) This is an oval. (squishes oval flatter) This is a pickle.

A: When I am scared God makes me brave. So I am very, very brave. Like a HUNDRED times brave!

A: Belle is so well trained! I was thinking I wanted her to lay down and she did it without me even telling her!

I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'm really sure that had more to do with "old and fat" vs. "psychically well-trained"

Classical Conversations is already paying off - the girls answered their first Jeopardy question tonight! (Columbus' three ships in 1492)

W got sent to bed early for continuing to ask for an orange smoothie after I said no. I asked her if she wanted to pray. "Yes. Dear God, thank you for a great day, and I'm sorry that mama wouldn't let me have an orange smoothie. In Jesus' name amen."

A's creation...it's a frame of the sky that's walking...

The girls are "playing" Classical Conversations. A is the tutor (big shock there) and is teaching W her memory work - accurately!

At Trackers today, they ate the fish they caught last week. When W and I came to pick A up, she ran up and excitedly handed me a whole 3" fish to eat. I was a little taken aback at how to eat it. W simply picked hers up and chomped the head right off...

Girls are at CrossFit. Carol is laying out the workout and draws a chalk smiley face on the floor where they take a rest. W says, "no, let's do a sad face instead."

I just tried to teach W Philippians 2:14 "Do everything without complaining or arguing".

She complained about it and argued that she wants to learn a different one. Sigh.

Day one of tutoring Classical Conversations Abecedarians! These kids are so much fun, and I'm very proud of how my little kindergartener is doing with school so far!

A caught her first fish today at Trackers...then her second-fifth fish as well!

W, singing: I know you, I walked with you once upon a cheese. I know cheese the gleam in your eye is so familiar a cheese...

Me: Uh, are you singing a love song to cheese?

W: Yeah! I reaaaallllly looooovvveee cheese!

A: Mama, I'm having a glorious time on this seesaw!

W is singing a song she made up, "every dog has to poop sometimes...."

W, gasping, "Mama, somebody tooked some pieces of the moon and made it into a crescent! I should tell them that moon pieces are part of the moon and are. not. gifts!"

Daddy has learned the hard way this evening that "you have a little owie? I will put some sauce on it and eat your finger" is not a good joke with small children. I told him he has to get up with anybody having nightmares tonight...

A: How old are you, Mama?

Me: 35. (in a quavering old lady voice) I'm an old, old lady!

A: (bursts into tears) You're not old!

Deadlifting sisters

A's prayer tonight: Dear God, please help me and my sister grow up to be good womens and strong womens and to love our babies. Amen.

We are sleeping in the motorhome. The girls are throwing themselves off of the bed and down onto W's mattress on the floor. I'm still half asleep and vaguely hear them yelling something as they "fall". I ask, "what game are you playing?" and A replies, "we're pieces of poop falling into the toliet!" just as W hurls herself off yelling "poop splash!"

W says, "uh oh! Somebody's up to something!" (Pause) "I better go too!"

A made friends with the lady in line behind us at the store. As we left, she commented, "that lady was very nice. I'll bet she follows all the driving rules and everything too."

After spending an evening with her cousins, A runs into the room, throws her arms wide and exclaims, "I just love you guys! I love my boys so much!"

W just did an impromptu CrossFit workout of jump roping (shaking the rope in front of her while she jumps up and down) and squats because she "needed to do some workout."

The good news is that W is potty-trained. The bad news is that it only appears to be in the house...the moment we leave it's like she's forgotten! Feeling a little trapped here til we sort this out...

W just came slithering in pretending to be a snake, threatening to eat me. Then proceeded to ACTUALLY BITE ME on my achilles tendon. Yeeowch! I told her from now on that pretend snakes only pretend bite!

W just came up to me and requested to watch Star Wars. Sniff...makes a geeky mama proud.

Fun times at the grocery store. A announces at the top of her lungs, "I just burped AND farted!"

Could it be? Am I almost done with 4+ years of diapers? W has only had one accident today - just up and decided this morning she wanted to wear princess underwear.

W comments out of the blue, "I like watching Star Verse AND Star Crash."

(that's Star Wars AND Star Trek)

W asks her Nana to help her put on a swimsuit. Nana says "Your mother is right there, go talk to her." W looks at her in consternation and says "That's not my mudder, that's my mama!"

A: Mama, what are we having for lunch?

Me: Tuna sandwiches

A: (makes face)

Me: I thought you liked tuna?!

A: Well, sometimes, tuna tastes kind of fishy...

I'm so blessed to have such a helpful 3 year old, who, upon seeing that one of the dogs pooped on the deck, proceeded to pick it up with her BARE hands and throw it off...

A just threatened to put W down for a nap unless she would play with her.

A rainy summer day is a good time for a snuggle.

I told W she has to put the books back on the shelf that she pulled down. She is trying unsuccessfully to do so while saying sadly, "This book is NOT paying attention!"

W (while in a princess dress and "glass slippers"): Daddy, you are my prince.

Daddy: Awwww....let me give you a hug and kiss.

W: No, not until we dance at the ball (as the takes his hand and leads him into the leaving room to dance).

My review of Cars 2? Well, W actually fell asleep about 30min before it was over...

A and W are playing with their ponies. One of the ponies got her hair stuck in something. Willow exclaimed in a mournful voice, "oh no! oh gracious!"

A just walked up to me and said, "look at this, it's really cool!" and proceeded to blow the small piece of a packing peanut she put in her nostril out of her nose. I hope the laughter didn't detract too much from the "never put anything up your nose" speech.

After a weekend of family, camping, a parade, a rodeo and now camp TrackersNW this week, I asked A what her favorite part was. She replied without hesitation, "The Porta-Potty on wheels that drove around the parade".

We heard a clip from the song "Shipoopi" from The Music Man on the radio. A clasped her hand over her mouth and said "that's the funniest song I've ever heard! (singing) She's poopy, she's poopy, she's really, really poopy!"

A came into our room last night, and sadly said "I can't get Gold (her stuffed puppy) because I'm not allowed to get out of bed. I have to stay in my bed all the time."

I replied "ok, let me get this straight. You got out of bed to come up here to tell me you can't get out of bed?"

The girls are nicely pretending to give each other flowers in the car. Then A hands one over and says, "here, this one smells like my BUTTCRACK" , and they both screamed with laughter. I thought this was one of the things I got to miss out on with girls...

W, as she gets into bed says, "I better keep my princess dress right here in case I need to go to the castle and put on some glass slippers."

A just did 10 burpees in 18 seconds

I got the girls' hair into Indian braids for their Peter Pan ballet performance today and they are very excited. They are now running around the house yelling "rock style!" I asked them what this means and A said "I don't know. I think it means fancy."

First thing A says as the bald dentist walks into the exam room: My daddy doesn't have any hair either!

A mom at a birthday party today asked A who she thought would break the pinata. A replied, "I think it will be me. I do CrossFit so I'm probably the strongest person here."

On the way home today, A was pretending to be hatching from an egg. W said "oh! A baby chick just hatched. I better name her. (thoughtful pause) I will call her MOTORHOME!"

I just heard strange noises from A's room. I went down to check and found W hooting while jumping around the room yelling "I'm Mrs. Underpants" while wearing a pair of A's underwear over her jammies and pulled up to her chest.

As we got in the car today, I asked the girls to tell me about their day. A replied, "Actually, Mama, could you tell us about your day? That would be lovely."

W puts her sunglass on her chin and says, "I have a teego!" After thinking about it for a moment I said, "oh, you mean a goatee?"

A just told me she's so excited about the Classical Conversations Conference we're doing to next week that she's having trouble sleeping! :)

The girls were being loud last night, so Daddy went in to tell them to be quiet, no more talking. W started crying and said, "but I LOVE to talk!"

A deadlifted 26lbs, 4 rounds of 10 today. She weighs 32lbs.

While going into ballet today, A motioned to W and said "W, come here and hold my hand. Ok, now, are you going to be good and follow teacher Annie's instructions today?" I think I'm out of a job...

W told me she wants to be a building when she grows up.

A ran a whole mile in 14:43...I don't think I could have done that when I first started crossfit!

We've been driving my parents' car while they are out of town since it gets better mileage.

Unfortunately, the other day it wouldn't start, so we switched back to our own car. As we were leaving this morning, W asked, "are we going to get Nana's car fixed?"

I said, "I think they will take care of it when they get back."

She paused thoughtfully and said "Maybe we should change its diaper."

A is playing restaurant. After bringing me my meal and dessert, she said "And now would you like something to refresh your mouth? Some kind of drink with mint in it?"

W: someday, I'm gonna ride on a princess motorcycle!

Me: A, where are you?

A, popping out from behind the bed: Right here! I'm a very stealthy girl!

W out of the blue while we are in the car: We shouldn't drink our pee because it's really yucky.

Me: What??!!! That's right, but why did you say that? Did you try to drink your pee???!!

W: No. It's just yucky.

W on the rowing machine...I think they need to add a few more slots to the foot straps!

A drew this picture for me for Mother's Day in addition to the store-bought card "because I love you lots and lots and lots and wanted you to know that. I thought you would enjoy these hearts."

Then I had to assure her that Mama was crying because she was happy...

Watching for A at the Awesome 3000

I was putting W down for her nap, and she said, "Mama, we went shopping with Daddy and got you a card!"

I said, "I think that's supposed to be a secret."

She looked at me and then whispered "We got you a card."

A's commentary on the battle between Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker: Red and blue make purple!

So watching Star Wars: ANH today became a discussion of different types of governmental systems.

Also, I had to spoil the whole Luke and Leia thing because A was about to burst into tears when she thought Leia didn't have a family anymore...

Had a wonderful conversation with A tonight at bedtime: she told me that last week before W's birthday party, she asked Jesus into her heart so that she would be saved! She then wanted to make sure that Daddy and I had Jesus in our hearts as well.

A was dancing so hard to the wiggle song in music class that she hit the window sill and the inside curve of her ear is almost black from the bruising. Ouch!

The newest family ballerina on her first day of class!

W: Wait! I need to tell you a story about Belle. The Beast scared Belle. The Beast scared the wolfeses. The Beast danced with Belle. The End.

So excited - just started reading The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe to A for the very first time!

I was rubbing W's tummy while watching TV the other night

W: Be careful of my hole!

Me: Uh...you mean your belly button?

W (very concerned): Yeah! You might get stuck in it!

A (while doing strong man type poses): I am very mus-cu-lar from doing CrossFit. W should work out like me so she will be mus-cu-lar too.

My baby is 3 today! We went in to sing happy birthday to her when she woke up - she exclaimed "stop it! I don't like that song!"

My mermaid princess

Putting the finishing touches on W's princess cake for her party today! Had to have a slight substitution - Sleeping Beauty was too tall for the cake size, so Strawberry Shortcake had to step in..

A thought it was hilarious to try to lick my cheek. I laughed the first time, but then had to get serious and tell her to stop because it was gross. She agreed, but as she walked away she looked over her shoulder at me and said "Ok, but I might sneak into your room tonight and lick your foot." Hello, insomnia.

While at the Farmer's Market eating lunch, an older gentleman stopped by our table to ask A if she shared. Without missing a beat, she silently and immediately pointed her finger at W. I'm not sure if she was saying W would share or that he could take her...

Daddy just got back from running. A asked, "Are you sweaty?" He said, "yes." She replied seriously, "Please don't hug me or kiss me when you are sweaty. Go take a shower."

A and I were outside of W's room this morning looking for something. W starts hollering "Mama! Stop talking and come in here to get me up!"

FYI: Mayo is like magic for getting salt water taffy out of hair...Also FYI, 2 may too young to just hand a piece of salt water taffy over...

A saw a rainbow yesterday on the way to Awana and yelled "Wow! That's really spectacular!"

A is in the bathroom having a full on diva hissy fit because she can't get her underwear on, and won't ask for help. Through tears and growls of frustration, she just said "I will just sit here from now on. I guess this is just where I will have to stay."

I made spaghetti using macaroni noodles last night. W stared at her bowl and said "Mama! There's spaghetti in my macaroni and cheese!" I explained, she poked at it suspiciously and said "ok, but I a little scared".

This is what happens when I try to video chat with my girls...

A was looking at a book and gasped at a picture. W worriedly said, "What scared you, A?" A replied, "I'm not scared, I'm amazed!"

You know what's not a fun morning? A 4yo who clogs the toliet with paper, flushes and the stupid thing won't stop running all over the bathroom. Good times.

On her way to Egypt via OMSI

I'm getting a pedicure!

W is trying to put some change in a bag with a hole in it. When the coins fell out, she exclaimed "What the heck of my chinny chin chin!"

Me to W: I think your pants are on backwards.

W: No. No they're not.

Me: Alrighty then.

A has started randomly yelling "Shark!!" while we are driving. Then says "oh, just kidding, I didn't really see one." Yeah, I was really worried...

A is writing a book called "Why Did God Make Lots of Things and You and Me". I love it, but I have to spell every word for her...

W was convinced a leftover piece of broccoli was a spider, so I ate it to prove it wasn't. She looked at me with an open mouth in shock and then laughed a little.

So I pointed to a piece of parsley on her hand and said breathlessly "oh my gosh, what is that on your hand?!"

She went BALLISTIC screaming at Nana to get it off. With a betrayed look she said sternly, "Bad joke, mom!"

Words you don't want to hear from your children: "Hey W, I have a new game, it's called Spit Fight!"

We are trying to watch a documentary about Disneyland, and the girls are way too hyped up. I asked A to stop yelling and laughing so high because no one could hear, and she replied "But Mama, that's what girls do when they are excited!"

The girls are playing knock knock jokes.

A to W: "Knock knock. Who's there? Ho. Ho who? Hotel."

Hmmm. Maybe not the best word to break in half...

A just requested to eat Paleo with me, and didn't bat an eyelash at the "no bread, cookies or pasta" requirement. We'll see how she does - she seems very excited!

A is currently watching a 1950's educational video on bacteria, she's very excited to learn more about decay.

Our little techie A just said "Grandpa had a little problem with the TV and didn't know what HDMI it was. So I told him it was HDMI 3 and now he will know for next time."

We have been studying the Sh'ma for devotions (Deuteronomy 6:4-6 and restated in Matthew 22:27-29). W is sitting at her desk coloring and said very sweetly "You will love Yeshua with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strawberries."

W was told no about something and went off to pout...a little bit later I tracked her down...

W: Moooooooooommmmm! Moooooooooommmmm!

Me: Yes?

W: It's raining ALL over the place!!!

A had to have some bloodwork today - she wasn't so upset at the stick as she was about them taking her blood out of her body. She said she wanted to keep it inside to save for another day. She didn't care that I told her her body would make new blood, she just wanted to keep her old blood.

I just started making the Darth Vader sound. A said "stop that, you're colding me. When Darth Vader breathes he makes people cold!"

Look out world...A is learning how to make fire at TrackersNW

A said, "I want to be a Nana when I grow up."

W replied "Actually, I want to be a Grandpa when I grow up!"

You know what's even cooler than popping bubble wrap? Popping bubble wrap like this...

At the end of A's WOD today, she had a challenge to do as many burpees as possible in 1 minutes. She got 25, and beat her trainer.

A's comment after music class this morning: "That was a good class. Everyone got to see my great outfit."

Me: W, are you being a little stinker?

W: No!

Me: I'm pretty sure you are.

W: Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm not.

A came in at 6am to tell me "I'm so happy! I love my new pony barn! They are pooping in it!"

W: I'm gonna tell you a story, Mom. Once upon a time, far away land, there was a bear. With a crocodile jumpin' on him.

On the way home tonight, I said "A, you know I'm really blessed to get to be your Mama. You're pretty special."

She replied "Awww, that's so sweet. Do you think I could have a little bit of ice cream when we get home because I'm special?"

We just sat down to eat. When they brought the water, W looked at it and said "is this FRESH water?"

A just ran out of the bathroom to say: "Since W is trying to sleep right next to the bathroom, I will just be in here pooping quietly."

Embarrassing moments as a mother - we're walking out of ballet class behind another mother and daughter when A points and says at the top of her lungs "Look Mama! That girl right there is not very nice!"

A just tapped W on the shoulder and said "W. Listen to me. When all the people in a family...or city...get old, then they all go to heaven to be with Jesus. I'm a big 4 year old girl, so I know these things. I know everything."

A and I were talking about shapes. She drew a diamond so I sang a line of "Diamonds are a girl's best friend". She looked at me like I was crazy and said "That's silly - diamonds are best friends with other shapes!"

Why does a child who pukes at the drop of a hat head straight for the spinning toys without fail?

A must be sicker than I thought - she just fell asleep while watching Cars...

Ummm...guys...you have nice soft beds...

A has some new shoes that light up when she walks.

W said "cool shoes, A!"

A replied "yeah, they light up so everyone will stare at me..."

A is carrying around my light up prop lightsaber singing "this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine..."

My baby got her first hair cut...

A just told me "If W was lost, I would run and find her, because I am very fast. That's why I work out so hard."

A is motivating herself during her CrossFit Kids workout by saying "my stickers are waiting for me!"

If you think this is a picture of a bunny on a swing on a hill, then you'd be wrong. It's a picture of someone PRETENDING to be a bunny on a swing on a hill...