A, at my parents' house: Mama, can you please go home now? I want to talk to Grandpa about the Cold War, the Korean War and the 6 Days War.

A: Mama, what's the temperature? 

Me: 35

A: And how old are you?

Me: 36

A: The temperature is almost as old as you!

Princesses Vader

A needs to perfect her "bunny ears" trick.

A got off the Tower of Terror and told me, "Mama, something happened! We fell into another declension!"

Yes folks, that's what happens in the Latin Twilight Zone...

This is why lunch takes so long...

Cinderellas

A: whew! I just caught that cup in the heck of time!

This is how she road trips.

W just informed me that her Sleeping Beauty doll got sent to bed early because she was disobedient. She ate a bunch of jelly beans after being told she could only have two.

Hmmmm...sounds familiar...

W's teeth and gums are still tender. I asked if she was still up for gymnastics today. She said, "Yes, I think I will be ok. As long as there's no biting."

W to Daddy: Do you like Perry the Platypus?

Daddy: Yes! He's my hero!

W: He can't be your hero! You don't live in the Tri-State Area!

The girls are organizing their jewelry and hair stuff. A says, "this headband goes on top. It's the one headband to rule them all." #childandgrandchildofgeeks

A: Daddy, why can't we have a dog right now?

Daddy: Because we don't need the extra work. Maybe if you guys stopped making so many messes all over the house and kept the house picked up we could have a dog.

A: Maybe if we got a dog, it would keep us so occupied that we wouldn't make messes. 

Well played, A. Well played.

Sigh. If W makes it through childhood without losing a baby tooth prematurely I'll be shocked. She slipped in the bathtub and hit her face on the side, her left front tooth moved a significant amount and her gums don't look good. I think we're going to become good friends with the dentist, since just a couple of weeks ago she fell out of chair onto a concrete floor and moved one of her eye teeth.

A heated game of Go Fish

W in a debris shelter her Trackers group built.

A drew a buttcrack on her paper doll.

The girls are playing with the Kinnect. A says, "It keeps taking so many pictures of us because we're so cute!"

W looked around the Thanksgiving table and said, "Look, all of the families are sitting together!"

Uncle B asked, "And do you know why we do that?"

She responded in the sweetest voice imaginable, "So we don't lose each other?"

We watched the Princess Bride tonight. The girls were spellbound. After the end, W said, "I almost cried at the end when they kissed, it was so beautiful."

A can now successfully cut a banana in half for her and W to share. She says, "Now we'll waste a lot less bananas because of my banana cutting expertise."

Thought you guys would get a kick out of this: At her checkup today, the dentist asked A what her favorite subject was. A enthusiastically said, "History! And I now I know the timeline all the way up through 'Visigoths sack Rome!".

The look on the dentist's face was priceless, pretty sure she hasn't gotten that answer to her question before...

The girls are playing with legos. A chides W, "you need to always make sure to leave a hole in the wall for the drainage system!"

Grandpa came over and played with the girls last night. A said in wonder this morning, "Grandpa played dolls with us...and he was actually pretty good!"

W just came up to me with a bunch of little toy dogs from a game in a bowl and said in sweet, cherubic voice, "I'm the dog catcher. I catch dogs for breakfast and lunch and dinner."

So I've had a Kindle since A was a baby. I have a series of books I love, and the last one is not available in ebook format yet, so I got the paperback off the shelf.

A said, "oh, is that how old people used to read books?"

W's presentation at CC today was 3-4 minutes all about pink. What is pink, where you can find things that are pink, then was very adamant that eyes can be pink because they can be any color that God made, etc, etc.

After the presentation someone asked her, "what is your favorite color?" She promptly replied, "Purple!"

A: Mama, I want to tell you something about veterinarians.

Me: Ok

A: Well, at the museum Grandpa volunteers at, there are these old guys who were in wars and they tell really interesting stories.

A: Mama, can I tell you something? (long pause) No. Nevermind. It's too gross.

Now I'm scared...

A Look! Look! It's rainy and sunny at the same time and there's an invisible rainbow!

W: Can I see? Can I see?

A to Daddy: Does Mama like tomatoes?

Daddy: Why don't you ask her?

A: I don't want to ask her! You're the one who married her!

A just went to get the mail: No PU today.

Me: Say what?

A: You know, like none of those packages.

Me: Oh, you mean UPS?

A: I like that I'm a petite 6 so you can still pick me up to snuggle with me.

A: Ok Mama, why did the boy throw a croc off a cliff?
Me: Uh, is this an animal or a shoe?
A: I think it's a shoe.
Me: Ok, I don't know, why?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly!!!
Me: I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be 'clock'...
A: Oh. That makes more sense.

Me: Brrrr! It's cold today!

A: Just rub your hands together, Mama. Friction generates heat.

Me: I'm taking the garbage out.

W: Ok. Don't get thrown away.

So A, our child who rode the Tower of Terror more than 6 times when we went to Disneyland, is too chicken to go on an escalator.

A needed help with the iPod. Daddy went to help, but was hitting the wrong button. A started crying and said, "that's why I was calling for mama! She's the professional!"

A says: Now that I'm six, I don't fart anymore. W responds: Well, I still do!

A just got breakfast dished up for both her and W. W headed for her place and A put her hand out and said, "Excuse me, but don't you think you should say thank you to me first?"

W replied, "You're welcome"

W: Hey mama, why don't you act like a monkey and swing by Costco?

A: Ok, let's go kill that fly that got in the house!

W, running into the kitchen: Ok! I've got a fork to stab him!

W, breathlessly, with eyes shining says out of the blue in the car: When I grow up, I'm to have a...garage sale!

A was playing dominoes with my parents. After helping her along for a while, she then decided she could do it on her own. She reached a point where she was struggling with what to do, and Mom asked her if she was having trouble. In consternation she said, "Nana, I'm just having a hell of a time with this."

Even Dad had to admit that we can probably blame him for that one...

W is learning words where the "s" sounds like a "z", (is, has, his, as). This was not the best lesson to do outside, since a neighbor walked by just as she bellowed, "no, mama, I'm really, really sure it's pronounced 'ASS'!

The neighbor looked pretty startled...

A to W: Ok, let's head up the Himalayan Mountains! Don't worry, there's a porta-potty at the top so you'll be fine.

So yesterday the girls come running into my office laughing, saying we have a visitor and that there's a dog in the house. I laugh too and tell them he better not pee anywhere. W says, "no, really, a really real dog. Come see." I'm still joking around with them, since they pretend to be puppies all the time. I walk out of my office and stop dead at the site of a large black lab mix with no collar in the middle of our living room.

The girls had left the garage door open and apparently this lost dog had come into our house. Luckily he was very friendly and well behaved. We ended up taking him to Humane Society after searching the neighborhood on foot and by car for his owners.

W just comes down the hall and says, "We have a farting club!" A chimes in with, "Yes, we're going to do lots of buttastic things!"

The girls are arguing over who a toy belong to. A ends the argument by saying, "Hmmm...flashback!...that's mine, it was for my last birthday."

A: I love it when you fart when you run. It's farty fun!

A to W: "Guess What I Said in My Head" - that's the name of the game.

A: My brain is small, but my imagination is big. There's so much of it, it just comes pouring out of my face.




Click here to get the poster!

Click here to get it on shirts and more!

I just told the girls that we are going to SoCal again in late December. I said, "you guys are being very calm about this." A replied, "I'm excited, I'm just being very mature about it."

Daddy: W, can you share a piece of your candy with me?

W: No! (pauses, lightbulb goes off). But I know! I could share a piece of A's candy with you!

This is how my rockstar naps

Ummm...how adorable is A? This looks like Disney should be using it on their brochures...

Vidia, W's favorite fairy because she's mean and wears purple.

 

This is my princess face



This is Sleeping Beauty sleeping:



This is my princess face again:

A's face after meeting her favorite princess, Belle.

W was the hit of the afternoon in her "Princess Lightyear" dress...I almost got tired of the squeals of delight that followed her through the parks. Almost.

Tinkerbell's friend Terrence challenged the girls to race to see who was the fastest fairy. A won.

When you tell A to duck, she goes into a squat...who knew CrossFit Kids was really Jedi training?




A says: I want to do Jedi Academy every day. I think I could learn pretty fast.



And one more pic because this was so cute:

W: Everyone should have kids like A and I. Adorable kids.

Flynn Rider just walked by and told A, "looking good, princess!" She was quite pleased...

W is a little excited about the Volcano dessert.

W tells us about riding on the Tower of Terror: It was so scary it punched my butt up.

I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER want to ride on the Tower of Terror again.

Daddy: A, are you farting?

A: That is correct, Mr. Daddy

How I can tell A has been spending a lot of time with my Dad the WWII buff: 

The girls are laying out in the yard looking at clouds.

W: That one looks like a flower. That one looks like a kitten.

A: That looks like two armies - see there's the American army over there, and the Japanese army over there and they are about to fight.

W had a nightmare last night: There was a scary machine and it woke up a baby chick while I was on the exodus with Moses.

W: A, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

A: No

W: Look! We both have purple on our socks!

A: Purple + purple. Roger that. This is going to be an awesome day.

W at dinner: This is quite a wonderful feast!

Me: why are you standing like that? A: because this is how cowgirls stand

A sits on my lap and lets a big one rip.

Me: Ewwwww!
A: It's a natural process, Mama. Everybody does it.
Me: But not ON me!
A: (maniacal laughter)

W during the appreciation game tonight: I appreciate daddy that he got rid of all his hair.

W is telling me a story: once upon a time the king and queen had a daughter. She was so beautiful the king could not contain himself for joy.

W: I really prefer to use a straw in all my drinks. It's easier for me. Water. Juice. Wine.

Me: Oh yeah sure, that's fine...erm...wait a minute, back up to that last drink please?

W has come up with a new tactic. For instance, if she's misbehaving in the pool and I say, "That's it, you're done, get out now," in a completely sincere tone of voice she'll reply, "Oh thank you. I wanted to get out. I was getting so cold and tired. Thank you, Mama, for letting me get out now."

Tonight it was refusing to participate in our little bed time ritual. I told her to go to bed and she didn't get to play the appreciation game. "Thank you so much, I was so tired I couldn't hardly talk. Thanks, Mama."

Well played, W. Well played.

W: After lunch is it snack time?

I just stared at her until she walked away.

I was working out while Daddy put the girls to bed. A came up to give me a hug and kiss, wrinkled her nose and commented, "you should really clean up. You're a little stinky." 


I said, "Go to bed, punk!" 


She headed off toward her room and retorted, "And you go take a shower!"

A just came up to me: My throat is kind of dry, that's an early sign of dehydration. It's pretty hot today so it's really important that I drink more water to stay hydrated.

Oh, the fun things CrossFit Kids say...

W: Daddy is the one who makes the girls laugh. But...he can't do anything better than girls, just as good as girls.

A is quietly working on peeling a little orange. She finally gets a difficult part off and sighs, "that was a huge ordeal."

On a hike, we saw some deer tracks. I asked W what she thought they might be: Tyrannosaurus T. Rex!
Me: What would you do if we found a t-rex?
W: Take him home.
Daddy: What would you name him? George?
W: George?! No! That's a silly name! I would name him Purple Golden Buttercup!"

W was asking questions about who's tummy she grew inside. Her first guess was Daddy. We explained a bit about how men don't have a uterus, and then she figured out it was Mama. A little later she asked if Nana grew in an uncle's tummy. Exasperated, A said, "W  - nothing. is. in. mens'. tummies. except. for. food!"

A comes in to say to me, nearly in tears of frustration, "Mama, I've given W various options and she's still just sitting there complaining while I'm drawing with my chalk."

W and I were discussing freckles this morning. I told her I thought I was getting more every year I got older. She replied matter-of-factly, "Yeah, you have so many! Probably you're going to die soon!"

W tells me a story:

I was at CC when I looked up and saw a claw. Then I realized it was a spider, so I ran away. But my Daddy killed it with a french fry. Spiders like french fries, and it ate so much it exploded.

A has built a fort.

A: I'm going in the restroom now for a little bit!

Me (alarmed): It's a pretend restroom right? I won't find any pee on the carpet?

A (confused): No! Why would I pee in a rest room? I'm going there to rest!

At the end of the day at VBS yesterday, they told the kids something along the lines of "have a great afternoon, memorize your scripture, invite a friend for tomorrow and come ready to raise the roof!" This morning I asked A if she needed to take anything today. She paused for a moment and then said brightly, "oh! yes! I need to bring something to help take the roof off!"

I managed to explain what they meant without too much laughter, but I'm guessing today isn't going to be nearly as cool as she thought it was going to be judging by the look of disappointment on her face.

Happy Father's Day!