Daddy: A, are you farting?

A: That is correct, Mr. Daddy

How I can tell A has been spending a lot of time with my Dad the WWII buff: 

The girls are laying out in the yard looking at clouds.

W: That one looks like a flower. That one looks like a kitten.

A: That looks like two armies - see there's the American army over there, and the Japanese army over there and they are about to fight.

W had a nightmare last night: There was a scary machine and it woke up a baby chick while I was on the exodus with Moses.

W: A, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

A: No

W: Look! We both have purple on our socks!

A: Purple + purple. Roger that. This is going to be an awesome day.

W at dinner: This is quite a wonderful feast!

Me: why are you standing like that? A: because this is how cowgirls stand

A sits on my lap and lets a big one rip.

Me: Ewwwww!
A: It's a natural process, Mama. Everybody does it.
Me: But not ON me!
A: (maniacal laughter)

W during the appreciation game tonight: I appreciate daddy that he got rid of all his hair.

W is telling me a story: once upon a time the king and queen had a daughter. She was so beautiful the king could not contain himself for joy.

W: I really prefer to use a straw in all my drinks. It's easier for me. Water. Juice. Wine.

Me: Oh yeah sure, that's fine...erm...wait a minute, back up to that last drink please?

W has come up with a new tactic. For instance, if she's misbehaving in the pool and I say, "That's it, you're done, get out now," in a completely sincere tone of voice she'll reply, "Oh thank you. I wanted to get out. I was getting so cold and tired. Thank you, Mama, for letting me get out now."

Tonight it was refusing to participate in our little bed time ritual. I told her to go to bed and she didn't get to play the appreciation game. "Thank you so much, I was so tired I couldn't hardly talk. Thanks, Mama."

Well played, W. Well played.

W: After lunch is it snack time?

I just stared at her until she walked away.

I was working out while Daddy put the girls to bed. A came up to give me a hug and kiss, wrinkled her nose and commented, "you should really clean up. You're a little stinky." 


I said, "Go to bed, punk!" 


She headed off toward her room and retorted, "And you go take a shower!"

A just came up to me: My throat is kind of dry, that's an early sign of dehydration. It's pretty hot today so it's really important that I drink more water to stay hydrated.

Oh, the fun things CrossFit Kids say...

W: Daddy is the one who makes the girls laugh. But...he can't do anything better than girls, just as good as girls.

A is quietly working on peeling a little orange. She finally gets a difficult part off and sighs, "that was a huge ordeal."

On a hike, we saw some deer tracks. I asked W what she thought they might be: Tyrannosaurus T. Rex!
Me: What would you do if we found a t-rex?
W: Take him home.
Daddy: What would you name him? George?
W: George?! No! That's a silly name! I would name him Purple Golden Buttercup!"

W was asking questions about who's tummy she grew inside. Her first guess was Daddy. We explained a bit about how men don't have a uterus, and then she figured out it was Mama. A little later she asked if Nana grew in an uncle's tummy. Exasperated, A said, "W  - nothing. is. in. mens'. tummies. except. for. food!"

A comes in to say to me, nearly in tears of frustration, "Mama, I've given W various options and she's still just sitting there complaining while I'm drawing with my chalk."